I feel like shit right now. Excuse my language, but holy shit, do I feel like the worst kind of shit right now. I just woke up, and I am groggy, stiff, sore, stupid, and derpy. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve popped out of bed at 6:30 in the morning ready to kick ass and take names. My life has been so straightforward and good that I forgot to blog anything. Then, last night, I met my arch-nemesis…

…and his name is “cake.” I think I mentioned earlier that my son is so freaking cute that the cashier at Trader Joe’s just up and gave me a box of cake mix to make for him. Well, I finally made it, and some frosting (butter, palm oil, powdered sugar, vanilla, blender, spread, yum) to go on the top.

I wasn’t familiar with frosting, so I had to test it a bunch. Probably 8-12 small bites, then keep adding powdered sugar and blending and tasting again until it felt like store-bought frosting. It takes a lot more powdered sugar than I suspected. Then, of course, I had a piece of cake when I was all done, because huzzah, I had made the cake at long last.

I checked my blood sugar, which is supposed to be in the 170 range after dinner, and it was 295. I knew that was really high, but there wasn’t much I could do about it, so I went to bed. This morning it was 142 — it’s supposed to be sub-130, preferably sub-110 in the morning — but more importantly oh my freaking God do I hurt.

My legs are weak and stiff. My lumbar region is made of pain. My brain feels like it’s filled with cotton. My eyes don’t want to focus. My head is heavy on my neck, and I really don’t want to exert the effort of holding it up. My fingers are particularly numb this morning. My eyelids are pissed at me for keeping them open. I haven’t felt this bad since…

…well, actually, this feeling used to be pretty normal for me. Until we discovered I was diabetic and put me on the medicines and insulin, I probably felt this way twice a week. I didn’t even notice (thanks, ADHD) how much better I felt until I screwed up and this God-awful malaise came back.

Suffice it to say, never. Ever. Again. The next time I hear someone quote Eddie Izzard and ask me “Cake or death?” I’m going to grab them by their lapel, shake them violently, and yell “FALSE DICHOTOMY!” at them until they run away or faint.

Before, I didn’t ever make the connection between blood sugar and this incredible drear. At least this time, I know that it’ll all be over by tomorrow morning, because I ain’t eating anything today that isn’t green and leafy or made of meat. Not anything.

Never. Again.

[edit]And then, just to validate the stupidity I feel, I just spent my entire work day working on a project I had already completed, and I did the whole thing over again. /EPICFACEPALM. Never. Ever. Again.[/edit]